Short and a extremely busy week for me. Monday practically missed everything because of the CLEP scholarship interview. The interview was more of a chit-chat seesion to me. I feel very relaxed and refreshed after coming out. Managed to retrieve a bit of my memory on the books back. Mr Ng says I am "hao lian". I don't know, I just love to share and even discuss issues like these...

Had a bonding session with the senoirs in CCA on wednesday. Xing Yi and I were in charge of it, but I suggested we split into 2 ways yesterday, as we have to settle the T-shirts ASAP. Everything was planned out and well, you can say sorted out. When the P came forward and asked, I was a bit stunned. Nervous doing things in front of senoirs. I think I piss the P and VP off a bit because of my cowardice. Still feel stupid even up till now. Went to supplier's after that. Problem again. By the time we headed home, it was 8pm already. reached home quite late that my grandparents called and told me off. Well, not really scolding, I think just worried. I know my limits. I will have to perfectly do all these things given to me. Shrinking away shouldn't be what a gentleman should do... ...

突然好想静下来。或许，真的累了。愿风能带走一切，早日恢复平静... ...

心血来潮，再加上昨天发生一些事，让我想谈谈“情”字。

昨天到了书局买文件夹后，看到了中四的学弟妹们。本来想在购物中心试试运气，看是否能碰见中三那群家伙，但从中四口中得知，课外活动暂停了。这时才想起，他们快考期中考试了，也点醒了我，快五月了。光阴似箭啊，轮到中四卸任了。还记得去年的这时候，我也是依依不舍地卸下职务。中三上任了，心里充满期望、充满自豪、充满成就感。呕心沥血一起与我训练、成长的中三，终于能干出一番大业。可是听着中四说得他们一无是处，根本无药可救，我心不禁碎了。

我耗尽一切，将我所知道的，能传多少就传多少。卸任后，他们接棒，我就感到不满。可能彼此认识太熟了、可能他们还没上手，纪律开始恶劣。追问起来竟互相推卸责任，让我有点不满。很想说，是不是怨我教得不好、叫得太慢？如今中三上任了，问题一大堆。肯本问题我早已观察到，但因身份不一样了，千言万语只好藏在心头。“主席好吗？副主席好吗？”给的答案让我不禁又股冲动想见他们。

这是一个对我有特别意义的包袱，我会放下，但不完全放下。CCA嘛，没那个能力管了，但他们的品格，我还是想说。此情意义深远，我希望他们能成功，留名青史... ... 算了，还是管好自己的事再说吧。
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问世间情为何物，直教人生死相许。是啊，周遭的朋友个个都已成鸳鸯游水去，唯有寡人与几位继续独坐溪旁。“只羡鸳鸯不羡仙”，看着鸳鸯远去，我也不想他们在回岸边。昨夜，试着把一对快回岸的鸳鸯劝回溪去。情，开始难，维持更难。能做别人的守护天使，是一种幸福，别因得付出更多而伤心。试想想，岸上有多少人没能守。是没有公平的，有时，以防得付出更多。但是想弥补的。

看着鸳鸯戏水去，心喜如花放... ...
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听到你的消息，好像风传来你的声音。
可惜最近无风起，影子不知去。
心乱如麻剪不断，越理结越乱。
愿你凡事皆顺利，心才尚可安。

乱糟糟的一个星期过去了。心好像打了结的麻绳，在短促的时间内是越理越糟糕的。今天，终于有时间坐下来冷静地想。

- 解决了GP file 的麻烦，好开心。拖了好久，找了好多地方，终于买完了那两打文件夹。

- CCA T-shirt的事终于也快画上了一个句号。只剩下那几个落网之鱼，交钱、等货、付钱、给 T-shirt 就大功告成。

- 班长就班长吧。拿起一个包袱难，放下更难。既然都做了四年，元气已伤，就继续吧。虽然期望自己能做个普通学生，只管学业，但也想过，得改掉已有了的习惯，有点难。继续下去吧，只要收检自己，应没有问题。

静坐还是最好的方法。听着佛经，静静地坐在座垫上，把脑子放空。虽然不是真正的打坐，不过也不会至于走火入魔，只觉得当自己在张开眼睛时，不会感到那么累、那么烦。消极的想法也随风而去，人也情松一点。接下来，就要为下星期打拼，为奖学金面试准备。希望，希望一切都能顺利... ...

Was like mad today. After math lecture, quick recess then went up to look for teacher. Was late for PW, but wanted to finish the discussion with the teacher... No fate... sigh.

Very nervous as we had CLL today. When I am prepared for poem, usually just get so tensed up that when I stand up, everything goes blank and I have a bit of breathing difficulty. Still fine, but not happy with my work performance still. This is my favourite and most confident subject, must not fail!!!

After CLL, again have a serious of meetings. Met up with VP to talk about the gathering, then ran down canteen for a quick bite before PE. Ran up to the classroom again to meet the P to collect money. In the end, no money collected 'cos not all done.

Tmr long day. Need to go for training, then may have to go meet the supplier. Worse still, things are not properly done. I am very worried. Tight schedule tmr...

Realised that today is only my 1st official day as a class chairperson, and my CCA post haven't even been finalised, yet I feel that I have so many things to do. A bit tiring for me. How I wish I can sit in the canteen and joke around with the boys. 1 thing I enjoyed is to water the plants. The bamboo finally seem revived. Relieved...

I don't know how long I can last, but I hope I can manage and very soon, I'll need help... What a term I will have...

Went for CLEP EXCO interview yesterday. Was nervous initially. I calmed myself down and went in. very eager to answer all their questions. Came out quite okay. I even have a few questions in mind for next year's interview. I am in a dilemma right now. Should I just be comfortable in the comfort zone like the P say, or should I take up the challenge and move up? Will I even move up in the first place? I really don't know. I'll tend after the flowers, and take whatever I am given. Poor flowers, they are drying up. I will water them daily from tmr...



Got "election" today. Like my worse fear, I walked through without any other candidates wanting to elect. The whole class comm wasn't by election... Other than Jill that has volunteered as SL rep, the rest are my candidates for vice chairperson. I don't know. Joyce vice chair, Denis NE rep, Jun Hao Health rep. I really hope there is an election, but well, maybe things goes better this way? In reality, you cannot choose who you wanna work with, right? Let's just hope I will be able to make it...

Still lost though. 5th term in the office liao, just that I moved the HQ. Lols. I still feel worried and disturbed. Should I really go for the 5th term, or maybe just take a rest, one I have been yearning for. Taking it up isn't easy, so is putting it down. I hurt myself and many while in the first 4 terms, I don't want history to repeat itself...

What to do? Where to go? How???

The week just seems to come like that. No nothing. With a stream of work that just keeps coming like a leaking dam. Since I don't know how to fix it, I will just get prepared for the full blast that will come pretty soon...

Basically my spirit is just like taking a roller coaster ride, high at a point, bottom at some other points. CCS performance gave me a new inspiration in my life, so I am more motivated now. Yet, I have new questions that I wanna answer myself.

Received date for scholarship interview. I am brushing my reading up as I have practically kill myself with the titles that I wrote in the essay, books that I still reading and understanding. Hopefully nothing goes wrong. Hopefully...

Exhausted currently. I am actually starting to feel a bit useless as time goes. Duties are piling up and some have been stagnant. Things run concurrently to the extent that I am even struggling to keep myself afloat. After looking at the CC point whiteboard this morning, I am hoping that the class comm election will come quickly. I have doubts that I can continue to chair the class for another term or 2. Never in my previous terms have I encounter so much duties, yet so little time to gather the class for discussion. Should I continue? Really lost and drained out.

Tomorrow is the LEP club EXCO interview. I am excited about it, 'cos I cannot wait to hear what they going to ask me. I have not prepared, but I am confident that I can answer their questions nicely. Whatever the outcome is, I will graciously accept it, because I have done my best and enjoyed the process.

Was reading a book by 尤今老师 recently. Fell in love with it. The stories are all so fantastic. I was even wishing she will teach me, but I know it is just me and my fat dreams. I will learn from her writing style, to improve myself for the dream that I will work hard to achieve.

Time flies, I have to go. Enjoy your week ahead... =)

Silly me. Posted a post today, on the wrong blog... =.= Was supposed to be for my own blog, I don't know how things land up there. So embarrassed now. Imagine if it goes onto 4/4 class blog instead of 0915's. OMG. Dono what to say...

I won't regurgitate what I said, since I deleted them away.

I guess having new energy isn't a good thing when I go too overboard. Argh, everything mixed up again.

Go sleep liao. Bye

Finally can use the computer after a few days??? Lol, since Friday, if I remember correctly, never used it. Computers were supposed to be a need, but I guess now, it has become a want that we cannot live without.

This week is extremely busy. But I don't know why, feel very high and energetic. Rather refreshed for the week ahead. Although there have been many tests lined up, Math, CLL, Chem and the PW PI to do. No time to rest, but well, I survived. =D Can sleep earlier tonight...

Let's end with a quote then: It is the little imperfections that makes your loved ones/friends perfect for you. You won't always remember how good they are, but I am sure you will remember them for these little things for life.

Here is the source of the quote. Enjoy...

Celebrating the 100th post as I am writing. It seems like last life that I started blogging. How it started? I forgot, but when I am lazy to write on my diary, this has become a platform for me to express my emotions and share my thinking...


Let's start proper. Quite irritated today, for the whole day, till now. It seems that the temper is out of control and I have to avoid getting into long conversations as I am afraid I may blow. Maybe it is because of the lack of sleep, maybe it is because of the terrible workload, maybe it is because of the 春秋无义战that has been going on recently.

Tired, frustrated and very disappointed. I have dropped the sword that I used to wield, and I have no intentions of picking it up again. No more wars, yet I am forced to pick the sword up and fight once more... All these nonsense, I don't want to think of it anymore. Just let me shed off my horrible past, and start over as a new person不打战，以仁治国。

Forget about it, rather disturbed and tired. Need to rest, bye for now...