Something triggered my thinking mechanism again this week. I became very slow in reaction and shut down easily. The theme that I have just concluded as I switch back to reality: Purpose.

What is my purpose of my actions? What is the purpose of my existence? Is there anything that I can do with that?

The answer:

1) Wherever I go, whatever I do, I usually wishes to leave a mark to prove my presence here before. Take for example, my presence in Riverside. I accidentally broke the doorknob of 1/7 class. The gate hasn't got a doorknob till now. Simple, funny, but as the first batch to use the new school compound, it has a rather unique representation, 'cos behind that gate lies many stories.

Similarly, I wish that the place that I have been to leave a mark in me, so that I can sit down and recall when I am old one day, to laugh, to cry about the classic moments of my life. From simple honour like awards to extremely touching people like the group of junoirs that changed my life, these are some of the things that I will not forget despite of my bad memory.

2) So I got the answer to my actions. What is my purpose of existence then? I have also come to a conclusion. My existence plays different roles at different times. From a follower to a leader, from an encourager to someone who demoralises others, from a creator to a destroyer, etc. No fix role to play, but for sure, everybody's existence mean something to someone else. 即使那个人是你讨厌的，他还是在你生命里扮演了一个角色。他为你人生的篇章添上了颜色，让你了解讨厌，并让你从中学习。Life with just happy moments is not going to be exciting at all. There must be a balance to everything. And our existence balances things up in other's life.

3) Is there anything I can do? I personally think we shouldn't overdo things. Let nature take its course. Let time do the job. What we can do, is to use yesterday's lessons as improvements, don't dwell on them. Set tomorrow as a target, but don't dream on that. Most importantly, work hard today, so that you can harvest the results tomorrow.


With that, it is time to pick myself up from the fall I had and moved forward. Lessons learnt had been harsh, but tomorrow is going to be better. Let's do the best we can do. My fifth term, I think I am ready to take up the challenge once again. =)