Thursday, 9 October 2008,
11 more days to my first paper. First time in this year finally can count down to my O lvl. Not done revising yet, but happy its coming...
Starting to question myself over and over again. Henry has been working his best throughout all this while, but, what is his goal? The results that I have been forcing myself to achieve, what is the use? Lost totally. It seems that I have been circling round and round, not able to break free from the cage I set myself in...
So many years, I really am starting to get tired of the journey ahead. Don't worry, I am not going to suicide... But, I just find it strange. Heaven loves to play around with mortals, destroying all the hard work that we've done to achieve something. I am sick of it...
I have been told, I am very stressed up with myself. I do not show my emotions (other than anger I think) easily. For everything I do, I get very pressurised by it. Even my parents are starting to say that. Some things are bound to have failures, but I never allowed any.
The feel of exploding gets more intense nowadays, when the input of worries and secrets gets more than the output. I just work and work, then have headaches, take Panadol, go sleep. The cycle repeats daily, though I don't take Panadol everyday.
Zheng Xiong was saying, 军事也有出卖自己的一天 (even the advisor will betray you one day). Has been dwelling about that. If even the advisor cannot be totally trusted, then there will be no one left...
Sigh, someone tell me what to do. Guide me, please?
Starting to question myself over and over again. Henry has been working his best throughout all this while, but, what is his goal? The results that I have been forcing myself to achieve, what is the use? Lost totally. It seems that I have been circling round and round, not able to break free from the cage I set myself in...
So many years, I really am starting to get tired of the journey ahead. Don't worry, I am not going to suicide... But, I just find it strange. Heaven loves to play around with mortals, destroying all the hard work that we've done to achieve something. I am sick of it...
I have been told, I am very stressed up with myself. I do not show my emotions (other than anger I think) easily. For everything I do, I get very pressurised by it. Even my parents are starting to say that. Some things are bound to have failures, but I never allowed any.
The feel of exploding gets more intense nowadays, when the input of worries and secrets gets more than the output. I just work and work, then have headaches, take Panadol, go sleep. The cycle repeats daily, though I don't take Panadol everyday.
Zheng Xiong was saying, 军事也有出卖自己的一天 (even the advisor will betray you one day). Has been dwelling about that. If even the advisor cannot be totally trusted, then there will be no one left...
Sigh, someone tell me what to do. Guide me, please?
21:13