Saturday, 20 September 2008,
Another week gone. This left me with 5 schooling days in Riverside Sec. Half-heartedly want to leave. I am tired, really tired of the different responsibilities I shoulder over these years. It seems Graduation Day is the day all these responsibilites will finally be put down... Yet, there are many more things I have learnt, I have gained over these years. To this group of people, I don't know why but I just don't wanna let go... Sry for my selfishness, but, I think that's Henry, over-sentimental. Sigh...
Over these years of schooling, I have been dragged into the position of chairpersonship. First two years, I was overwhelmed by the excitement that indeed, I've offended many unintentionally. Only near the end of Sec 2, I realised that I've been more like a shouting idiot. Never had the chance to apologise...
Sec 3, I wanted to have a taste of being an ordinary student, but again, elected as chairperson. Tired by then, but still, I will have to shoulder it and serve my best and more. My indesiciveness and hot-tempered may have once again offended many, but I think it's a bit too late now to apologise... I've been exercising emotional control, but, I think I've got low EQ. Other than sorry, its just more sorry. After Friday, I will disappear and all this rubbish from me over the years will end.
However, changing view from classroom to CCA, I start to get very, very confused. It started out with me not very fond of it, but now, I am starting to miss all these trainings. The scoldings, pumpings, drilling will always be remembered deeply. Looking back now, the time when I was a cadet is much more memorable than after being NCO, although I only get more bonded to the squad from end of Sec 2 onwards... Less worries and responsibilities then, until this bunch of rascals appear in my CCA life. I tried to make their trainings less tough and make sure that they don't start out like me.
They were my new source of inspiration, motivation. No matter how much low I am, their smiles never fail to cheer me up. Some of them share similar habits as I do. That makes me even more attached to them. Talking to them makes me feel like talking to long lost friends. The confidence that I've lost over the years can also re-surface during their trainings. Let's just hope that I would be leave without shedding a tear for them. The only regret still is, I never had a photograph with all of them...
Sigh, when it comes to parting, Henry is always so emotional and hopelessly stubborn. If only he can let go more easily, life will be easier for him, wouldn't it?
4 years, strangers became friends, some friends become strangers once again. After all the work, we'll just be left with one goal-- O lvl... I wish, I wish, with all my heart, that all the people around me will get the dreams they want...
*The ballroom turns quiet once again after the ball ended...*
18:16
