17 weeks ago, a group of newly passed out recruits came to the furthest camp in Singapore. We do not know what to expect, we do not know most of the people in the company. Everything started from zero, where we begin our lives as a Armoured Engineer Pioneer Trainee.

We started to bond, through the weekends burnt during NDP, we started to know each other's character better through the daily training, and we depended on each other to finish what we are set out to do outfield. The 17 weeks were not exactly how we typically spend it, but because of each other, joy and laughter have been added to the mundane life of green uniform.

We had conflicts, but no friends bond without conflicts. It's the process of seeing each other's weaknesses, learn to accept them for who they are, work around it and focus on their strengths. We see each other for 5 days a week, staying together going through thick and thin, looking out for each other. To simply put our relationship as friends may even be insufficient. For I see each other as brothers, as a family pushing each other through and forcing each other to a new limit.




17 weeks later, we have passed out as trained engineers of the Armed Forces with flying colours. It is one of my proudest moment to be able to stand in the parade, help and watch my buddies, especially Glen, Yan Kai and Rongli go up to receive their awards. No doubt I was initially disappointed with myself when the news was broken, but this has been the best outcome I have predicted. Giving your best need not have to be recognised by awards and titles. Being able to pass out together as a platoon, seeing that you have at least made some differences in each other's lives is the best award given.

Now, as we celebrate this joyous occasion, it is also time to remind ourselves about what is coming ahead. The journey ahead will definitely get tougher as we become operationally ready. Have the mindset that all training is an opportunity to build ourselves up as an stronger individual, as a stronger platoon. Together, we will definitely overcome all obstacles. May platoon 3 last through all thick and thin, and create an ever-lasting friendship.

So many months since I last blogged over here. This is because of many changes in my life, with conscription now locked on me.

Firstly, I no longer have the time to blog, with only weekends available for me, I am just too tired to reflect and write. Secondly, my flow of thoughts has changed to Chinese, making this bog almost useless as I have been trying my best to keep this in English, the way I started it out. Do not ask me what my other blog URL is. Let fate decide if you can find it, read it and understand it.

That is out of the point why I am blogging today. Let's talk about change in mindset, regarding the topic on conscription.

My fate has been sealed roughly 2 months ago, that I can no longer be a commander, unless I sign on (not really possible either, though I have expressed interest). With the hope of bringing about change to what I see and feel is not right gone, it seemed that my world has fell apart. There seem to be nothing more I am fighting for. I tried to change my support from rank and responsibilities to my loved ones, which ultimately doesn't bring as much motivation as expected. I will write about that too, in my later post. However you must be able to read Chinese. Lols.

That was last month's problem, and I have found the solution to it recently. When asked what is my purpose in wherever I am now, here is my answer: " To be able to go through thick and thin with the friends I have made, so as to build a friendship so strong and unique that it will last throughout this lifetime." No doubt, being in a uniformed organisation will require a lot of physical and mental fitness at times, but as long as we are in this together, I think we will be able to survive well and even laugh our way out of it.

However, I am still unhappy. Ever since I am excused for my knees, I seem to realise that not all of my friends share the same thought. Most find conscription a waste of time, and there are some who are harboring the thought of getting out through medical conditions. It is saddening to see the number we are left with, and the thought of the future makes it more de-moralizing.

The glass of water is always there with 2 different types of views. Our lives for the next year and a half is more or less sealed, and we should be thankful of what we got. Now we have 2 choices to choose from: 1) to grumble and live life in misery, or 2) take this as a training opportunity to train ourselves from boys to men.

Which will you take?

8 weeks flew as if seconds passed.

New friendships are forged, through eternity.

Achievements, disappointments are everywhere since it's one more week to POP.

Am I disappointed by what I got after my 'great show'?

NO!

Because I've been myself, done what I know and I can do. No regrets, no disappointment. I'll just smile it off and continue my journey ahead...

The burden that I cannot seem to shake off.

Something that haunts me even up till today.

How I wish I can restart to lessen, or even get rid of the burden.

My past, my secondary school days...

I'm in a new school this week.

Different atmosphere, different teachers and different timing.

There is minimal teaching to be done, and it makes relief even harder cos the students can only misbehave to spend their time.

Their innocent faces makes it hard for me to scold them.

Who in the right mind will scold little angels?




After thinking for a while, I realised that I just have to start small.

Started to warm up with the office staffs, then a few teachers and lastly the students.

It is hard, especially when there isn't a permanent class I can build up relationship in, like my other school.





But this boy made my day.

He is adorable, yet very different from the rest of the kids.

Tavin told me about him, and he seemed to be standing out even though he was doing his work diligently in a corner.

The smile that he gave motivated me, and reminded me of something.

We cannot hope for the environment to change and suit us, we have to change to suit the environment.

This primary one boy has definitely taught me something.

Thank you, Brian. =D


*Photo taken from Tavin, I hope he doesn't mind =X*

Maybe I am really not ready for this yet.

I have things yet to accomplish, not prepared mentally.

So, I will take the initiative this time, to let you sink to the bottom of my heart, to become a memory that I will forget after some time.

Thankfully, I did not cause any disruption to your life, neither did you affect mine. The status quo will remain, I hope, for the rest of our life.

To the few that I confided, you must be frustrated. For my wishy-washy, for an answer that is never fixed.

So here it is now. You won't be facing this problem again. At least for two years, unless I turned into a gay, then we may have to consider again... Lols

They say money makes the world round. Well, not for me.

I'll rather be contented with what I have: enough for a living, enough for savings, enough for charity, enough for retirement.

Lots of things to cover? Actually no.

These need not have to come in thousands.

I am never an ambitious person, never dreaming of becoming rich.

All I've always dream for is a stable, down-to-earth and happy life, with me as a teacher, that's all.


Youth is everything. I have many dreams that I've not fulfill. I will never allow any mistakes to be made. =P